Internal Family Systems Theory 101
What Is Internal Family Systems Theory
Internal Family Systems is an evidence-based approach to psychotherapy that employs an empowering and compassion-based perspective that acknowledges the natural multiplicity of our personalities and our innate ability to self-heal. The goal of this therapeutic style is to help individuals achieve a state of Self (capital “S” intended) by acknowledging the role that our past experiences have played in the way we perceive the world and behave. Internal Family Systems (IFS) relies on key concepts of “Self” and ''parts” to describe the internal interactions we have that inform the way we experience the world and interact with others. While these concepts sound rather theoretical, they can be illustrated using common, everyday experiences that are likely familiar to all of us.
Have you ever considered something and recognized your own multiplicity of thought? For example, when deciding on whether to go for a run in the rain an individual may consider different viewpoints within their own psyche, debating internally between “part of me wants to go because exercise is good for my body and I enjoy the endorphins” and “part of me doesn’t want to get cold and wet and have to spend extra time getting ready in the morning”. While this is simplistic, it illustrates the concept of multiplicity that is central to IFS theory. Our own psyche is debating with itself whether or not to behave in a certain way (go for a run) based on conflicting needs and wants. One part wants to be comfortable and not rushed for time, the other part wants to reap the physical benefits of exercise. This example demonstrates we are not just one single, impermeable personality, but rather, a collection of various personalities, each with their own motivations and goals that contribute to our identities. This is precisely what Internal Family Systems theory promotes and there is a growing body of evidence that supports the use of this paradigm in treating a wide variety of symptoms. Let’s start at the beginning.
Where Did IFS Theory Come From?
Dr. Richard Schawtz, the founder of Internal Family Systems, suggests that these internal dialogues and motivations between various parts of ourselves occur on a subconscious level, affecting our beliefs and behaviours, even in unwanted ways. In his practice as a systems-informed family therapist, Dr. Schwartz noticed a pattern of clients reporting their experiences from the perspective of different ‘parts’. These parts could be explained using an analogy of a family, where the communications or mere presence from one family member can affect another member and the system (family unit) at large.
To illustrate, consider a teenager having an argument with their younger brother. As soon as the mom enters the room and sides with the younger brother, the dynamic changes drastically. In this situation the teenager feels left alone in the triangle, and gets more resentful and angry. The argument shifts to fight with mom and nothing gets resolved. The intervention of a Self-led parent, on the other hand, can impact the dynamic of the argument drastically. It can help the conversation go to the right direction of respecting, listening and understanding of each child’s point of view to help them feel heard so they can come to an agreement. As these kids grow and mature, their own Self takes on the role of their parent and their ability to access their self likewise profoundly affects their state of being as an adult. Our parts like these kids need our Self intervention to bring stability to our system.
“Our parts can sometimes be disruptive or harmful, but once they’re unburdened, they return to their essential goodness. When we learn to LOVE ALL OUR PARTS, we can learn to love all people — and that will contribute to healing the world...”
What are “Self” and “Parts” in Internal Family Systems Theory
When we are living in a way that represents our truest being, without consciously or subconsciously allowing previous experiences to affect our thoughts and behaviours, we are living in Self. The Self represents our innate goodness and core values, where we feel safe, secure, and enough. The Self is incorruptible by outside forces. Sometimes our parts can interfere with our expression of self, even blending together in complex ways. This interaction fogs our ability to be in a state of Self.
Those who are in a state of Self experience at least one or more of the “8 C’s”.
The
8 C’s of Self
Curiosity
Calm
Clarity
Connectedness
Confidence
Courage
Creativity
Compassion
When our Self is obscured, accessing these C’s can be greatly impaired. Fortunately, Self exists just below the surface of the parts and with practice and compassion, it can be accessed. It's by balancing our parts accessing the Self that we can begin to unburden ourselves and heal. This ability to self-heal is innate to the Self and present in each and everyone one of us.
Parts
Parts can be described as the various “subpersonalities” or “family members” that compose who we are as individuals. Each part has its own systems of thoughts, beliefs and feelings. It is not uncommon for some parts to be experienced as alternative ages or gender expressions.
Ultimately, the goal of the part is to protect Self, this includes parts that we consider maladaptive or unpleasant, like a shrieking inner critic, anger, substance misuse, or preoccupation with physical appearance, for example. It is important to note that while the part’s effects may be ‘bad’, the intention of the effects is always good, in terms of Self-protection. The concept of “No Bad Parts” is key to understanding this theory. Our parts all want to protect us, but the roles they have may actually be causing us pain.
As previously mentioned, parts can be divided into 3 broad categories: Exiles, Managers, and Firefighters.
Exiles represent parts that have been affected and burdened by negative experiences, like abuse, neglect, hurt, and shame. When a person experiences a painful or traumatic event, the energy, memories, and emotions of these events are carried with them. These events can be so emotionally intense and painful that our systems become overwhelmed, we want nothing more than to push the experience away, forget about it, and move on. As our protectors, our parts comply, effectively locking away the parts that could be triggered, producing these memories of the pain. The exiled parts are repressed with an enormous internal effort by protectors. Sadly, these exiles are often the purest, most joyful parts of ourselves, like our playfulness, curiosity, awe, confidence and innocence.
Managers can be best understood as parts that work to manage other parts in an attempt to protect the system from internal and external factors that could result in the system destabilization. Managers, like all parts, have good intentions despite them often manifesting themselves in unwanted behaviours and thoughts. For example, a manager may be the part of you that prizes productivity. The goal of this part is to protect you from painful feelings of unworthiness. This feeling of unworthiness, if triggered, would produce unsettling emotions. So, the manager steps in to prevent this by causing us to overwork in an attempt to prevent this feeling from happening. Other common ‘managers’ include an overactive self-critic or a fear of commitment.
Firefighters, like managers, have a goal to protect the system from instability. The difference lies in their approach. Where managers operate proactively, firefighters serve as a reactive force designed to quickly and effectively protect the system from an exile that has escaped the control of managers. When an exile ‘escapes’, the resulting emotions can be extreme and intense. Firefighters rush into action to quickly stop this pain from affecting the system. Behaviours like alcohol misuse, binge eating, binge watching, gambling or risky sexual practices, are common examples of firefighters. The firefighters aren’t interested in the long-term effects of their actions, their goal is to stop the immediate pain. So while these firefighter parts are very well-intentioned in their attempt to protect the system, the resulting action can be quite detrimental to our wellbeing and ability to access Self.
When we consider our thoughts and behaviours through the lens of Internal Family Systems theory, we can begin to develop compassion for ourselves and for others. We understand that the human experience involves painful events that can affect us profoundly and that these experiences can subconsciously manifest themselves as undesirable behaviours and belief systems. We are not bad people. We are hurt people who have internal systems that are doing everything they can to alleviate that pain. IFS invites us to reconnect with our parts, to have a conversation with them, to understand who they are, why they’re there, what they need, and why we must honour all of them with kindness, compassion, and patience. When we reconnect with these parts we can begin to access the Self and start embracing the joy that an unburdened system can bring. Sometimes we need some help to move through the process of reconnecting and rebalancing our protective parts so that we can productively move forward in our lives. An experienced and qualified IFS therapist, like myself, can help individuals and couples of all backgrounds, experiencing a full range of emotional challenges, unwanted behaviours and distressing disorders to rebalance their parts, heal, and begin living a Self-led life.